Random #1

Have you ever feel so lonely that you long for someone presence even if it is only in your dream?

I did.

Have you ever feel so happy about it even it is just a dream?

I did.

And realising that the dream was just a dream, have you ever feel extremely sad because that dream is beyond impossible to be true?

I did.

Always crying in my heart until I forgot to pray hard. Ain't Allah is The Reliever and The Giver...

Smile... :)

How we perceived things in life that matter most

Bismillah, Assalamualaikum...

Pheww I almost forgot to update this blog. Actually I almost forgot that I have this blog, this sounds more precise. Haha..

So yeah,how do I start with that title? Lately, I always feel bad about myself for not getting myself a temporary job before the actual one. It's quite tense me more when most of my friend and housemates already working at clinics or pharmacies. I feel a bit jealous and inferior to them since they get to practise what have been learnt during our studies and gain good experiences while working. And some are sharing about their working experience and that make me excited and happy for them but at the same I do feel a bit sad about me. Haha. And some of them are not even staying at their house with parents just because they want to work. And me? I don't want to leave them just yet. Hehe

Okay, here is what I want to write about actually. I always have this thought that keep nagging in my mind whenever I feel bad about myself for not getting a job. For your information I did go find jobs but most of them do not need extra workers for now. I do not live at urban area, so I have to understand if there is limitation of available jobs at my place. I just hope anyone or whoever that read my blog to pray so that my friend and I get the placement for our PRP as soon as possible insyaAllah. Jzkk in advance :)

Okay back to the topic, as I always complaining to myself about my current situation, I also keep comforting myself that, THIS IS THE TIME WHERE I GET TO STAY AND SPEND TIME WITH MY PARENTS AND BEING HELPFUL TO THEM AS MUCH AS I CAN SO THIS IS ACTUALLY A GOLDEN TIME OF ALL because I am totally sure that I will not be able to spend my time as much as I can now when I start working soon. After that, I'll be getting married and has to devote my life with my husband (with Allah's will) so there will be lesser time available for me to spend with my parents. You see, Allah's plan is so beautiful. He did not wants to put us down with His plan that we seem to find it is hard to us, but it is actually depends on us to perceive things that He had planned upon us. I'm not saying that my friends who are working is not that good for not spending time with their parents, it is actually very good for them to find experience and supporting themselves at their own right? But, I'm also glad that I can spend my time with my parents now. Once, a mother of my junior told me that, it is also a rizq from Allah if we can stay and spend time with our parents. That's the time where we can be helpful to them, be good to them and serve them as much as we can. That is also a rizq from Allah. Jzkk auntie for that beautiful advice. Whenever I feel down about this, I always remember that advice. I want to serve my parents more, I want to be a good daughter to them and helpful to them as much as I can now before I do not have the chance to do that anymore :'(

And remember, as we grow up in life, our parents are also growing old, so cherish them while the time is there.

Hope this benefits all of us, insyaAllah. Till then, Assalamualaikum.

Struggle more, do more

Bismillah..

Not in the mood of writing however my fingers did not act accordingly. 

Mentioned about mood, I am aware that I have to force myself in doing things other than just staring, scrolling and tapping my phone ( I can do this for hours!) such as to read books etc etc. I have many books left unread, all thanks to the gadjets and internet!

With phone and ipad in hands, I switched from exploring social medias (fb, instagram, twitter) to playing games. And this situation is being repeated in a day. As much as I don't like to say it, I have to admit that this is my life cycle currently. I am fully aware me everyday is not productive at all but again, all I blame is my mood. You know, doing good things are hard, but the good side of it is that it teaches us the victory of struggle. Good deeds will be sure paid off insyaAllah. So I suddenly had thought in my mind that it's not that I have no mood in doing things, it just me that struggle very little to do things. I still do not find myself some jobs before I got my posting for PRP placement err next year? Please be this year amin....

I really need to struggle more and do things that can benefit me, so at least I do not end up with my phone all the time. First of all, I want to read the books I bought. Actually most of the books I have can be categorized as light reading ones. I am not that favor of complex or heavy reading books. I have reasons of why I'm not favoring those books type because I barely focus on what I read. My mind and eyes do not work together, means that I read each sentences but at the same time my brain does not there. So I need to repeat that sentences several times before my brain can actually process what it wants to convey. Looks like hard work for me aite.

My brother once said, find and explore knowledge as much as you can at this age because still got times. One way to explore it is by reading. Situation will be much difference when we start working than now. I'm like doing nothing at home besides cooking for lunch and do some chores and house cleaning. So I must add new activity in my list, which is reading books.

Sorry, I don't think this post is worth to read. But one thing that may worth to be kept is, our handphone is not just for it's camera and social apps, it can do more. And, try to have some me-time-with-books or me-time-without-phone to do other activities that bring good to you. Okay let see whether she can do this or not tehee (reminder to myself).

Till then, Assalamualaikum.

Rambling of mine on first entry

Bismillah.

Basically, this is not the first time I'm writing an entry since I do have a blog long ago. However, due to immaturity back then during the time I was actively blogging, I definitely decided that so called blog must be terminated and deleted. Hahaha I already deleted it few years back then and only now I feel like blogging again.

Well, right now I'm still unemployed since I just finished my studies on July. And that means, I have time for blogging insyaAllah for good cause insyaAllah. Somehow I kinda regret with my writings long ago because MashaAllah I don't even have will to read my own writings. Can you see and imagine how awful my writings was back then. Of course merapu and merepek kinda writings huhuhu. I will totally embarrassed if anyone I know or my friends read my previous blog so I deleted it and I felt relieved. Hahaha so childish back then. But hey, what past is past. So I welcome this new blog hopefully it can wash away all my worry.

I want to write my entry in English because I believe, this is one way for me to improve my English. But I will still selit2 with Malay sentences as well because after all, Malay language is my mother tongue and of course very satisfying to use during certain times like *you wanna express your feelings, emotions etc etc*

As an introduction, this blog actually serves as a virtual medium for me to share my experiences be it personal ones, working ones (insyaAllah.. amin), family ones, marriage ones (insyaAllah...amin) or whatever it is that appropriate to be shared. I really hope to use this blog to bring benefits to all and of course to me. As a saying goes, sharing is caring, sharing is love bla bla so I would like to share some of the goodness I can bring to all if possible. May Allah make it easy for me.

Last words for now, I hope Allah blesses this little effort of mine. Amin. Till next entry, Assalamualaikum.